The Last of the Amazons

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

I could tell by the tone of my mother’s voice that something had happened–even over the phone I sensed the gentle sadness–and I knew with a pang of kindred sorrow what it was. Aunt Ruth had died.

Quietly, my mother told me, in her sleep. 104 years old and the last of my grandmother’s sisters. The last of a generation that was mighty upon the earth.

I never thought the Aunts would die. It never seriously occurred to me to fear it—they were too foundational to the proper functioning of the world in general and my life in particular: like Corinthian columns fluted and lovely and made to bear the enormous weight of life with seemingly effortless grace, especially in such a precision of placement as these five sisters had aligned themselves. Even frail little Aunt Ruth, an invalid these forty years, had borne her load manfully, with a core of iron and steel beneath her thin housecoat. Out of all these mighty pillars only she had remained, her faded, almost transparent little body but thinly veiling the light and fire of a still-vibrant mind within.

And now she was gone, too.

The last time I saw her was on a broiling day in late August, nearly as stifling indoors as out in typical Deep South fashion. But it was a warmth that enveloped me like an embrace and distilled with it the essence of summer days long-ago but not lost. We came in through the kitchen and the scent assailed me even more potently than the heat had done, for it was precisely the smell of every other Aunt’s kitchen, a kind-of incense of sausage and cornmeal and Wesson oil, with simmering field peas thrown into the mix. (Grandma’s kitchen always seemed heavier on the sausage-side for some reason, and Aunt Tiny’s, of course, was imbued with the perfume of caramel icing.) Though there were no field peas simmering that day, nor any other indication of domestic activity, there had been enough over the years, I imagine, to steep the very walls with nourishing aromas so that they exuded a collective memorial of the sovereigns in print aprons that had presided there for so long.

Aunt Ruth was lost in a recliner and a pale green afghan and her eyes wandered listlessly while the conversation went on because she could hear so little of it and see nothing at all. But the minute my mother asked for a tale or a reminiscence from the past those eyes came to life. They sparkled; they shone like a girl’s in the first headiness of youth. The little hands worked excitedly and the honey-sweet voice droned on and on about the old days with a lilting that was like music. She told us about the first automobiles that they saw down on the river roads, and how every time a car went past their old farmhouse it would honk for sheer neighborliness and all the children would come running out to see it and wave. How the first time she drove a car herself she was twelve years old and her mother was sick and she had to go and get her daddy. How on her honeymoon in ’29, she and Uncle Bugg drove to Washington D.C. in a red Ford Roadster and went up for a tour in an airplane.

She spun a magic that afternoon in her simple words so fraught with happy remembrance, so that the steamboats on the Altamaha wavered into existence once more and plied their course through the murky waters. And the live oaks that arched over the deep tram road down in the swamp rang with the voices of children long-since departed, swinging across the chasm like so many monkeys. Even the terror of the stunt flier that crashed into the Number One bridge before their very eyes when they were picnicking on the river as a family had a certain conjuring of grotesquerie about it, like something one might encounter within the pages of Flannery O’Connor. Her manner changed with the telling of that tale, her voice dropped low and the bright eyes were hooded with an unforgotten horror. A dark thread amid the brighter ones, throwing color and joy and light and goodness into sharp relief.

Philip fed her just the right sort of questions, shouting politely across the room, and the glances he and I exchanged expressed our mutual enjoyment. How often, after all, does one have the opportunity to spend the afternoon with someone who can boast of over 100 years’ worth of experience in this world? And yet, as we sat in Aunt Ruth’s parlor that day we could have been in the ‘Front Room’ of any of the Aunts. There were the same 1950’s-era portraits of her girls on the wall, the same best furniture, the same aura of gentility and dignity. Each of the sisters’ homes had their own unique stamp, but some indefinable likeness in Aunt Ruth’s parlor invoked all of them at once. From this distance they all seem to have been painted the same pale, limey green, though I know they were not: Aunt Tiny’s was splashed with the color of her bold and vivid oil paintings, and Aunt Babe’s had pale carpet which was stiff on bare legs and religiously unsoiled. Grandma’s had marble-topped tables and a beautiful antique lamp dangling with crystal prisms which was the absolute only thing in her house she ever worried about us breaking. Nevertheless a uniform impression of coolness reigned on those sultry afternoons when we’d sit in state in one or another of them and give an account for ourselves: our grades–first in preeminence–and then our music and perhaps our ballet recitals or tennis matches. (Too many ‘extracurriculars’ were somewhat suspect, the general consensus being summed up in my grandmother’s fear that we might be ‘jack of all trades; master of none’.) And they wanted to know about our friends, which says the world of their genuine interest in our lives. My grandmother knew every one of my friends by name, though she’d never met most of them, and she kept such a detailed mental account of them that whenever we talked she could ask me if Jenifer was still in the marching band or where Ann was going to school or if Amanda and her new husband had bought a house, a fact which, naturally, I took for granted at the time, as we do some of the most precious and genuine things in life, but which strikes me now with a sweet stab of belated gratitude.

(We didn’t always sit in the Front Room, of course. Only on such calls of ceremonial reckoning. On other occasions we’d settle comfortably in rockers and recliners under the ceiling fan in the den, or in aluminum folding chairs in the back yard. But no matter where you ended up, you always came in through the kitchen. No one ever entered an Aunt’s house any other way. And no one ever knocked—a bang of the screened door and a trilling “Yoo-hoo!” was the only announcement a visitor required.)

I was in a state of resolute bliss that August afternoon at Aunt Ruth’s, overwhelmed alike with her memories and my own, and every sense sated with time-erasing impressions. I clung to the moments almost desperately, dreading the time when we had to go, back on the highway, back to the city and the present age and the noise and confusion and hurry. I wanted to be a little girl again with a new piece to perform on Aunt Ruth’s piano—always a bit trying as I was constantly reminded that Aunt Ruth had done the very elegant and appropriate thing of going to Conservatory. (Though I really think as a child that I had some nebulous notion of Aunt Ruth sitting in a starched white dress in a room full of palms and tall windows.) It would have been wildly inappropriate for any of her sisters to have done something so purely ornamental; but for Aunt Ruth it fit her personality like a fine, kid-leather glove.

The whole afternoon was a gift, a window opened mercifully, if briefly, upon my past, granting me glimpses of things I thought vanished forever. Aunt Ruth was enough like my grandmother, in voice, in appearance, even—though so shrunken and tiny—to make me believe for one sweet moment that a beneficent Providence had brought her before me once more. I wanted to throw my arms around Aunt Ruth’s neck that afternoon, and kiss her wrinkled cheek in tearful greeting, for Grandma’s sake, and for her own self-effacement in looking so much like her to me. That’s what I was doing inside as I knelt beside her chair and pressed the beautiful claw-like hands that were once so proficient in Chopin and Schubert in my own young ones.

For even now, so many years after Grandma’s death, it’s only the sight of her tombstone that makes me realize she’s really gone. And Aunt Babe just down the way. Aunt Mary Mac nearby and Aunt Tiny over the hill. And now, at the last, little Aunt Ruth, laid to rest beside her parents. It just cannot be. These were the Immortals; these were the Amazons, these diminutive ladies with their cool fresh front parlors and their very decided opinions on the cut of a roast and the year’s crop of mustard greens and the dispensations of the young lives in their charges–lives loved better than their own.

They are the stuff of legend, and fittingly so. For the world will not see their kind again.

Touch Hands!

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

Valentine's Day, 2010

February 12, 2010

The phone calls started the night before and continued into the morning:

“Are you going?”

“Do you think the roads will be safe?”

“What does your husband say? What does your mother say?”

I had been watching the weather forecasts just as intently as everyone else. And I was just as torn up about it. Any other day, was the track along which my anxious thoughts kept running. But not the afternoon of my precious friend’s party, the Valentine Tea that’s become legendary not just for the number of years we’ve enjoyed it in succession, but for the overflowing love of our hostess, perennially delighting us with the art of her kitchen and the warmth of her home. The years are so crammed with memories that they all seem to blend together in a tender mural of glitter and lace, homemade chocolates and heart-shaped scones. Little hands dispensing their tokens of affection and larger ones just as eager to impart theirs. Buoyed and borne upon oceans of hot tea and haunted by the music of feminine conversation: by times intense and passionate, and light-hearted and shrieking with laughter.

And though some of our girls have grown up and wandered far over land and sea, the same memory draws us all, and there’s still a handmade Valentine to be looked for in the mail—and last year even a high-tech Skype call from Sarajevo!

And so it was with a decidedly conflicted heart that I pored over the forecasts and discussed possible outcomes. I mean, snow down here in God’s country is a treat; a holiday! A fleeting miracle of what Brenda so endearingly calls Narnia-magic. If only we could have the magic without the potential danger of those roads winding up to my friend’s mountaintop home!

The Eastern Fence

It must be understood: we Southerners are famously chicken-headed about snow. (And characteristically proud of it, I might add. ;) ) When I look at the pictures of Mid-Westerners’ snowy lanes and New Englanders’ high-piled gardens, I confess it’s not without a shade of completely ignorant envy. And a rather liberal dose of admiration for the indomitable cheerfulness and creative joy with which the privations of winter are met in such regions. I don’t know how it is in other parts of the country, but the appearance of so much as a single flake in the five-day forecast will literally clean out the bread aisles in the grocery stores in an afternoon. And the steady campaign of a storm already dubbed ‘Southern Fury’ headed our way was certainly enough to give us pause.

Experience is a great teacher, however, and wisdom is often its fruit. And as my mother has more of both in stock than any of us younger women put together, we tallied up the smiling but conflicting suggestions of our husbands and we asked her what to do.

I’m going,” said the indefatigable Claudia. “And if anyone wants to go with me, they’re welcome to.”

The only thing certain about snow in the South is uncertainty, she might have added. No one really knows what’s going to happen till it’s happening. And as there wasn’t a snowflake in sight—not so much as a pellet of sleet—it did seem rather overly cautious to forego the joys that awaited for a prediction of snow that might prove just as mistaken as the half-a-dozen previous this winter.

Offerings of Friendship

All we needed was a leader, it seemed. And we fell in line with alacrity, glad to have someone at the helm and the party beckoning on the horizon once more. Ashley and Edie met at my house along with my intrepid mother. Rachel and Debra and their collective girls set off together. JJ was to meet us along the way.

And just as we got in the car and slammed the doors shut with a giggle at our former indecision, it started to snow. Heavily. We turned around at the end of my driveway in distrust of my half-hearted windshield wipers and piled into my mother’s sedan in even higher spirits than before. Edie transferred, along with her dainty basket of Valentines, a brown paper bag from my car to my mother’s. It seemed that her husband had insisted upon her taking a change of clothes. Just in case

“It’s too warm to stick,” we assured ourselves. “It’s just a wet, slushy snow.”

“But it’s pretty,” Ashley said.

We were all imagining Wendy’s home, tucked up among its trees like a picture in a storybook with the poetically harmless snow falling outside.

But about a half-an-hour into our trip we started getting nervous. The interstate was growing sluggish, and the roadsides were becoming decidedly white. And the flakes weren’t melting on the road quite as quickly as we’d like to have seen.

“I don’t feel good about this,” my mother said in a voice just as firm with conviction as her earlier assertions had been.

When once the confidence of our captain wavered, the crew wasted no time in following suit. Edie piped up from the back seat, and I, never one to scruple over voicing an opinion, threw in my oar with an emphatic concurrence.

Sebastian in the snow

We pulled off at the next exit and we made my mother put in the hateful call to Wendy. Almost tearful with the disappointment we all shared, she broke the news that we just didn’t think we could go any further—that we were turning back. It broke our hearts to consider all the tender care Wendy had gone to; the knowledge of what we were missing finished the job. And we couldn’t even let ourselves think about the four little baskets of handmade Valentines that had accompanied us on our failed voyage. Husbands started calling and were called to confirm the decision; Rachel and Debra, ahead of us on the road, were forced to abandon the mission shortly thereafter. And poor JJ, in the lead of us all and waiting patiently at the meeting point, had no choice but to navigate onwards alone.

It was Ashley who broke our glum silence.

“We could stop at the French bakery.”

I turned around in my seat and grinned at her, so pretty and stylish in her 1950’s pink velvet hat and soft lavender scarf.

“I’ve got some gorgeous white tea,” I said.

“We could sit by your fire,” my mother added, only taking her eyes from the road long enough to cut her eyes hopefully in my direction.

“I have some little cookies in my basket,” Edie said in her sweet way.

The very thought cheered our way, and we were able to be glad that we had tried and failed instead of accepting defeat without a fight. That’s one thing that I love about my mother—one thing that the day’s little misadventure illustrated in vivid color: she’s not afraid of anything. She faces the mountains in her life with the unflinching eye of faith. But she has wisdom enough to heed the pluck of prudence at her sleeve, and she’s keen enough never to mistake ordinary foolhardiness for courage. A small picture of a great reality. But no less striking for its delicate subject matter and compact frame.

When we got back to my house, Ashley put on the kettle and got out the dishes while I laid the fire, and my mother peeled some blood oranges and Edie sliced some nice cheese to go with our exquisite pastries from the bakery. I turned on the Little Women soundtrack, which always takes us back to Valentines long past, and we feasted and laughed and enjoyed one another and the absolutely breathtaking aspect of the falling snow. It was such a sweet moment of companionship, held in the pristine silence of the materializing wonderland outside. Unlooked-for and perhaps all the sweeter because of it.

Edie's Valentines

But it made me sad for all my delight when the others produced their Valentines—such exquisite little creations can hardly be conveyed, each one a small labor of love—for the baskets still brimmed with the offerings for all those other dear ones whose company we missed that afternoon. Ashley had crafted lovely paper swallows with glittered wings, and Edie had fashioned tiny treat boxes daintily trimmed with ribbons and flowers and sentimental ephemera and filled with the aforesaid cookies. We divided up the lot according to who was going to see whom next—I took Rachel’s and JJ’s, while my mother took Wendy’s and Debra’s—and soon after the party broke up in the interest of everyone getting safely home. But it was even a lovely picture as I stood at my door and watched them down the front walk, laughing and waving, traversing the snow in flimsy heels with white flakes starring their coats and hair and velvet hats.

The Next Morning

A sequel of phone calls the next day confirmed that corresponding little fetes had taken place that afternoon by Debra’s kitchen fire and at Wendy’s, as well, with the troopers that were able to make it, in what my mother is calling the Cell Group Valentine Party. But scattered though we may have been, as effectually as the aforementioned wanderers, there was a great sympathy of friendship binding our hearts that day. And a figurative, if not literal, touching of hands…

Ah, friends, dear friends, as years go on
and heads grow gray, how fast the friends
do go. Touch hands, touch hands,
with those that stay. Strong hands to weak,
old hands to young…Touch hands! Touch hands!

~William Henry Harrison Murray

My Garden

My Grandmother’s Love Story

Thursday, October 27th, 2005

“Do you know what today is?”  My Granddaddy leaned back in his chair and regarded me through partially closed eyes.

August 18th—what Civil War battle took place on that date?  My mind roved frantically through a jumble of generals and statistics field maneuvers that he was always parceling out to me like choice sweets.  But my helpless expression must have given me away, for presently he smiled bemusedly and folded his hands.

“It was fifty years ago today that I met your Grandmother.”  He opened his eyes wide and looked straight at me.  “Fifty years ago.  And I still remember it like it was yesterday.”

The little woman who passed through the swinging door from the kitchen at that moment bore but faint resemblance to the dark-haired beauty he had first seen and fallen in love with on a summer afternoon in 1939.   The pitiless hand of Alzheimer’s was already beginning to reveal itself in her oft repeated stories and her frequent confusion.  But her eyes still lit up with admiration whenever Grandaddy came into view.  And when I was over I usually noticed a love note from one of them left on the kitchen table for the other to find.

As Grandma’s dementia increased over the years that followed, her cherished family tales began to drop from her repertoire one by one.  But never the story of the day she met her man.  It was told to me in unwavering detail until she was altogether unable to tell stories at all.  Had I heard it only once, however, I believe I would still see it as clearly played out in my mind as I do at this moment.

I would comprehend the willingness with which her parents saw her off on the train to visit casual acquaintances in Florida, hoping that the sunny climate would erase the last vestiges of a winter’s bout of pneumonia.  And I would remember just how it happened, that the Satterwhites would invite a couple of nice college boys over to meet the pretty girl from Atlanta and that Grandma would know at first glance which was the one they had described to her as ‘Claude Jr.’.

            “I was sitting on the front porch,” the story went, “and I looked up and saw two young men come in the little gate and amble up the walk.  But I really only saw one of them.  And I said to myself, ‘Why, that’s Claude Jr.—and that’s the boy I’m going to marry.”

It was just like that.  Both of them testified to ‘love at first sight’.  And though that’s a rather dubious concept in our ‘enlightened’ age, I have to say that I believe them with all my heart. 

Thus ensued a courtship that was to last nearly 60 years.  To be sure, as in any relationship, there were hurdles to overcome, not the least of which was my Grandaddy’s intimidation with this elegant young woman who looked like Judy Garland.  “He thought I was a ‘city girl’,” Grandma would laugh indulgently.  “Why, the roads weren’t even paved in Smyrna then!”   But it didn’t take him long to see that the heart in those beautiful brown eyes was only for him.  All the love she had saved up in her affectionate little soul was his for the asking.

He officially asked in the fall of 1941.  A moment’s bliss—and then the war.  Grandma’s eyes always grew misty when she got to that part in the story.  Granddaddy was one of the first to go, and one of the last to return.

            “Forty-eight months in the South Pacific,” she would murmur, as if to herself.  “And I always knew he’d come back.”

For their first Christmas after they were engaged, Granddaddy, who was already gone, had a beautiful cedar hope chest shipped to her.  It sat table-high, with a carved apron resting on graceful Queen Anne legs.  Opening from the top as it did gave it a rather ominous appearance, however, and Grandma’s fun-loving sisters teased her mercilessly.

            “Uh-Oh!  Laura Alice’s opening her coffin again!” they would chant whenever she lifted the lid to examine the contents or add some new item. 

But she ignored them and went right on hemming sheets and embroidering pillowcases with which to furnish her future linen closet.  For four years, riding to and fro on the streetcar to Atlanta where she worked in her daddy’s optometry shop, she stitched dainties for her home and chatted with her best friend whose new husband was also stationed overseas. 

And every single night she penned him a letter, always opening with the same wishes and hopes for the day when they could be together and start the life they were so tirelessly dreaming of.  Claude saved them all, carefully sorted in sequential order, as she saved his daily letters or ‘v-mails’; they’re stored away in my attic now, awaiting the day when they are pieced back together to form a marvelous chronology of such a perilous and moving time in our nation’s history.  But first and foremost those letters are the history of a love.  It was a love that displayed a commitment few in our modern world can comprehend. 

Looking back on a long and loving marriage, it might be easy to glance over those years of forestallment, such a small portion of the whole.  But I really think that the harsh reality of that waiting and perseverance and heart-ache and longing was the story behind the deep appreciation they always seemed to have for one another.  Waiting for the one you love to come into your life is hard; waiting when they are already in your heart and yet out of reach is torture.  Generations to come will be indebted to that faithful resolve; it’s a heritage that I know I am enjoying the benefits of today.

So Claude went on facing death and danger for the sake of people yet to be born.  And Laura Alice went on working and waiting and hoping, putting on dances with the Military Maids and writing letters for disabled servicemen whom she visited regularly in the hospital.  And one day in late November she received a telegram—how her heart must have stopped!  Claude was in San Francisco, and he was coming home.  Not to Florida where his family was, but to Smyrna where his heart was.  I can only imagine the half-shy raptures with which Laura Alice greeted her returning gallant at the station.

They were married December 30th, 1945, barely a month after his homecoming.  Out came the lustrous satin dress that Laura Alice had been saving all those years and the yards and yards of silk tulle veil.  There was a whirlwind of teas and festivities, and the planning of the home reception.  And two lives set forth as one, hands firmly clasped against whatever hardships lay ahead.     

Their romance was such that when Granddaddy died after 55 years of marriage, something died in Grandma, too.  A light was snuffed out.  A
nd though it’s sad to see it, I can’t help but thank God for the strength of such a love, and rejoice that they will be reunited again someday after this last long separation.

 

The Good Life

Friday, July 15th, 2005

for Dave–Nulla dies sine linea

       Those who know me best would never label me a ‘big camper’—that is, until the Airstream came along.

 

I was driving home from my book club one afternoon, navigating the rush hour traffic, when something along the roadside caught my eye.  I smiled and progressed to the next red light.  But it wouldn’t let me go.  The light turned green; I went on a bit further.  And in a sudden break in the stream of oncoming cars I wheeled a tight left and went back.  Stepping out onto the dusty gravel drive, cars whizzing by close at hand, I looked up at this great strange entity with a sense of awe.  An arching frame sheathed in aluminum with a blue tag welded above the back window: Airstream.  If I had ever seen one before I hadn’t noticed it.  Now as I stared, edged closer and emboldened myself to peek in a window or two, a vision began to grow in my mind.

I could hardly wait till Philip came home that night.  In glowing tones and with many a hand motion for emphasis I told him what I had seen—and what it could mean to us.  An easy escape when the cares of life began to crowd in too thickly; a portable home in which to flee when the noise and confusion of modern life drew too near.  “It’s like a silver turtle,” I told Philip in the heat of enthusiasm, “carrying all its worldly goods on its back.  Think how free we would feel!”

Philip took the dream and ran with it, and four months later found us making the road trip from Georgia to Indiana to pick up our 1962 Tradewind.  The intervening time had given us leisure to decide exactly which model and floor plan we wanted; we had scrutinized the digital pictures provided us with exacting care; but when I stepped into that wood-paneled camper for the first time I honestly couldn’t believe it.  Original porcelain front refrigerator, tiny gas stove, two closets, a bath!  Philip had coached me most of the way to Indiana on how not to appear too eager when discussing terms with the seller, but all my vigilant reserve went right out the window.

            “This is our Airstream,” I said, as if in a dream.  “Can we take it home—right now?”

After our Maiden Voyage in the spring of 2004 we took a few more jaunts to state parks and the farm.  Each time it was harder to come back home; the taste of freedom more sweet.  And still we were dreaming of the Great Escape, the cross-country ramble, the gypsy-ish liberty of Toad’s Open Road soliloquy in The Wind in the Willows:

            ‘There you are!’ cried the Toad, straddling and expanding himself. `There’s real life for you, embodied in that little cart. The open road, the dusty highway, the heath, the common, the hedgerows, the rolling downs! Camps, villages, towns, cities! Here to-day, up and off to somewhere else to-morrow! Travel, change, interest, excitement! The whole world before you, and a horizon that’s always changin’!’ 

Not long after my sister’s wedding, she and Dave had us to their apartment for dinner.  We had a wonderful meal and a rousing game of Uno, but we were soon to discover that these were not the only reasons for which we had been invited.  In a way, it was something of a summons.  Dave had a proposition:

            Road trip.  This summer.  The four of us.  The Airstream.          

The Open Road beckoned and we obeyed.  Summer 2005 became the catch phrase for adventure.  And all the more touching was its call owing to the fact that September would find Liz and Dave moving to New York to pursue an adventure of another sort at the Art Students League.

But on the summer morning of our departure they still had not the slightest notion of where they would be living in the great metropolis, or even when they were leaving.  All that mattered to each of us was that the journey was underway.  The year was 1962.  Kennedy was in office; C.S. Lewis was still alive.  The sun was shining and we were fancy-free.

I turned up the Airstream mix that Philip had compiled and we all sang John Denver’s Country Roads at the tops of our lungs.  The car was charged with the utter delight of unaffected corniness.

            “Now, that was what I’d call a sing-along,” Dave said, settling back with satisfaction. 

            “Who d’you think Kennedy’ll appoint to the U. N.?” Philip posed.

            “Do you imagine they’ll ever put a man on the moon?” I wondered.

Liz peered over Jackie O. glasses with a coy smile.  It was obvious that she cared more about period fashion than politics.  From plastic beads to vintage aprons, we both were prepared to dress the part, and if Liz’s cache of costume jewelry was considerably larger than mine she was only too willing to share.  Playing dress-up—never a problem for either of us—was part of the travel pact.
     
Friends of friends had offered us the use of their farm outside of Lexington, Virginia, and it was thither we trekked, our bright silver camper rambling behind.  As we neared our destination I glanced up from the map I was trying to make sense of and caught my breath.  A slight rise in the highway spread a golden vista before us: cow-studded hills in a late afternoon gilding, brick farmhouses half-hidden by ancient cedars, pastures domesticated by miles of white-painted fences.  It was so beautiful that it almost hurt to look.

             “I think this is our exit,” Philip said. 

            A rapture of praise went up in my heart.  It was too good to be true.

The farm was as beautiful as that soaring glimpse had promised.  We set up camp with merry hearts, and as the sun dropped below the trees on the mountain behind us Liz and I went into the Airstream to start dinner. 

            “This is the galley,” I explained with the pride of a 1960’s homemaker.  I opened the cabinets one by one and acquainted her with their inhabitants.  “Tea here,” I set the aluminum canister behind the stove, “dry goods here,” with a flourish towards the cubby that curved with the arc
of the trailer, “and the stove’s name is Princess.”   I indicated the blue and gold emblem on the door and Liz nodded, her mouth drawn up in a little bow of comprehension.

            “Apron!” she cried, thrusting me a handful of blue organdy ruffles.

As darkness fell we gathered around our vintage-spread table with bistro lights swinging above and candles twinkling to enjoy a delicious pizza hot from the oven.  The night grew black around us and we talked and laughed and marveled at our situation.  I always forget what real darkness is until I’m camping.  And silence that teems with the din of night creatures.  A screech owl gave us all a bit of a shudder—except Liz.

            “Don’t worry,” she assured us with the sagacity of a true outdoorswoman, “that’s just a pony.”  I’m ashamed to admit that we laughed her to scorn.   

When it was time to turn in we pulled sofas into beds and threw open overhead compartments for pillows and linens.  Everything so tidy and cozy, it wasn’t hard to close the door against the night and snuggle up with respective spouses.  And how wonderful to fall asleep with no thought for the morrow but that it would surely be fun.   

The dawn was a beautiful gift.  I blinked sleepily at the golden haze pouring over our enchanted valley, suffusing the garden, the barn, the pastures beyond with a living light.  I had been afraid that I had dreamed it all.  But the morning only revealed that I had not remembered how lovely it was.  I was seized with a sudden wistfulness, a tender thought for the young men of Virginia who had ridden off with such gallant zeal to fight and die for the state they loved.  The tragedy of the Great Conflict pierced me, perhaps as never before, as I looked out the window that morning upon a landscape so very like the homeplaces they had left behind.       

Lexington offered us a boon almost from our very first footfall on its undulating little streets.  Liz and Dave saw it at the same time:

            “Stonewall Jackson Thrift Store!

I had been chattering about wanting to see the Stonewall Jackson house, a few short blocks above the VMI campus where the great general had thought to live out his days quietly teaching natural philosophy.  But surely it would keep for another half an hour. 

Inside we found a perfect windfall of vintage clothes.

            “Lexington junk is lots better than Atlanta junk,” Liz declared, heading for the dressing room with laden arms.     

Our trophies proved her right and the boys were proud.

            “Beetle, you just bought your fall wardrobe for 18 dollars!” Dave exclaimed, clapping his arm around Liz’s shoulder as we went back out into the sunlight.

Though we’d all seen them before on family vacations, like good Southern children we made the rounds of Washington and Lee, admired the sweep of green lawn from the prospect of the president’s house and paid our respects at Traveller’s grave.  (For those uninitiated in the lore of a Southern upbringing, Traveller was Robert E. Lee’s faithful horse who was interred outside of the Lee Chapel while a spirited UDC matron played Dixie on the organ.)

Camp life was of the utmost amiability.  Late afternoons saw us pursuing our individual quiet pursuits: writing, painting, napping.  Liz and I took long walks over the farm and tried not to think about our coming separation, stopping by the vegetable garden on the way back to gather high summer bounty for our dinner.  The evenings lengthened into endless starry enchantment as we lingered at the table conversing on deep life issues or sat by the fire laughing over nonsense.  With sparklers, ghost stories, s’mores and Rummikub we set by those hours among some of the dearest of our lives.    

Liz and I both wore our new dresses for the Blue Ridge Parkway.  We embarked in the morning with an amazing assortment of maps and a full picnic basket and wound our way through some of the most beautiful scenery this country has to offer.  With the windows down and Befriended on the CD player the sense of possibility was high.

 

Our heart’s desire was a secluded spot to spread our repast, and like everything else on this trip it was granted beyond all expectation.  A grassy path to a scenic overlook seemed promising and Philip pulled over for Liz and me to inspect.  Cresting a little knoll we found a spreading tree that seemed to have been planted on the sunny hillside just for us.  The grass was long and sweet, and the views that opened in every direction were of waving fields crossed with old fences and dark stands of cedars and hardwoods.  We ate our sandwiches in the happiest frame of mind, talking little but to extol the prospect around us; when that was done Liz served tea and we all settled comfortably with our books, the silence broken only at intervals for Philip to share a passage or two from Walden.  After digesting some rather weighty thoughts of Chesterton’s I set off on a little solitary ramble to give my mind a chance to recover, and as I wandered through the grass among Queen Anne’s lace and shaggy lavender bee balm my heart was singing a wordless thanks for God’s wonderful kindness.    

            “We’ll come back here someday,” Philip whispered as I turned for one last glimpse before piling into the car with the others. 

But there was an even harder goodbye awaiting us the next morning.  As we broke camp, code named Bingo by our intrepid captain, Philip filled our heads with bright promises of what was just over the next hilltop on the Open Road.

            “You mark my words,” he assured us, “Wiggle will have its own adventures.”  And not one of us doubted him, any more than we questioned his ability to christen campsites.            

So we ambled out where we had ambled in so happily a few days before.  We said goodbye to our temperate valley, to the willow at the bend, to the horses, and then edged out into the old tree-canopied lane.  There was a waver of a sob beneath my laughter as I joined in the merry banter that is conversation with Liz and Dave; but my spirits rallied considerably when someone suggested stopping for ice cream on the way out of Lexington. 

Back in the car, Liz was as happy with her overflowing ‘single scoop’ as the
rest of us but she was defeated before her ice cream dipped below cone level.

            “Here, do something with this,” she said, passing it off to Dave with easy unconcern.

            “And what would you like me to do?” 

We were careening conspicuously through neighborhoods at that point, past some of the most dignified establishments the genteel old town had to offer.

            “Look, there’s a trash can!” Liz cried, pointing under Dave’s nose to a receptacle rapidly nearing on the right.  “Just toss it in there.”

In Dave’s defense, a perfect marksman would have been challenged under the circumstances of combined speed and short notice, but if nothing else his sincere effort was worthy of merit.  Top-heavy ice cream cones have a mind of their own, however, and this one seemed to possess a liberal streak of willfulness.  With the wind in his face and the sun in his eyes Dave made his best shot—and landed it cone up in the very center of a pristine lawn.

            “Step on it, Philip!” Liz cried from the back seat.

            “Like they’d never recognize us loping through town with an Airstream behind!” I muttered.

            “It’s okay,” Dave said with his wide grin, “we’ll just say it’s our calling card.”  

We went out of our way to see the Natural Bridge Caverns, passing as we did a couple of deserted roadside attractions of the Shenandoah Gothic variety, including a life-sized replica of Stonehenge made completely out of foam.  The name?  Oh, yes—Foamhenge.  High on a hill it gleamed in the afternoon sun, luring us to stop and gaze in wonder, tempting us over the low gate for a surreal picture or two…or four or five…

 

The Caverns guaranteed all sorts of miraculous statistics, but aside from a treacherous wet stairway into the lower regions and a tour guide with a malevolent smile we found very little to recommend them.  There was a brief shadow of excitement when the lights were cut at the climax of a ghost story, but the story fizzled out, the lights came back on as planned and we all trudged back to the surface feeling very jaded and not a little cheated.  Our only regret in leaving was that we had no ice cream cones to pitch out the window as we drove away.     

Hours later we were installed at Wiggle on the James River, bistro lights twinkling from the awning and steaming plates of Italian sausage and rigatoni before us on the table.

            “To The Good Life!” was our toast, clinking plastic goblets.  

Despite its other notable features, Wiggle proved to be a bit on the buggy side, but it was no hardship to pile up in the Airstream for a round or two of Old Maid or a heated Monopoly match that carried us into the wee hours of the morning.  I seriously thought that our patient, good-natured Philip and our feisty, fun-loving Liz would part company over the latter, all for the sake of one notorious blue card, but the minute the game was over Philip’s smugness and Liz’s fury were swept away with the wooden houses and Community Chest cards. 

For Williamsburg Liz and I rallied our very prettiest vintage clothes.  We crossed the James on the ferry from Scotland, and our hopes for the day were as bright as the morning sun that leapt off the blue water in myriad dazzling rays.  Leaning over the rail from the observation deck I took my life-long visions of the revered place in hand.  If it’s not just as I’ve pictured it, I told myself firmly, then it will be better.  But even my imagination could not prepare me for what better was.  I loved Williamsburg from my first step on its graveled walks, my first gaping glance at the regal Governor’s Palace, my first glimpse of a sunny garden over a wooden paling.

            “That’s what I want for my birthday,” I told Philip, indicating a white-painted dovecote with a cedar shake roof.  “With doves.”

            “Naturally.     

            “You can build it, darling,” with an eye-batting smile.

            “I’ll have to,” he replied.  “I don’t think you can just go out and buy those anymore.”      

Our last dinner was a bittersweet affair.  And as with all of our meals, highly photographed.  I twirled my fork on the pink plastic plate of stir-fry and couscous and suggested that we make a slide show when we got home confined to what we had eaten on the trip.  Rousing approval ensued. 

We took solace in reminiscence that night, musing over favorite moments as if they inhabited the distant past.  Liz and I shared the same—the picnic at the overlook.  Dave harked back to the night of the sparklers and the Roman candles on time-lapse.  Philip’s best time was watching the sunset out by the campfire with the happy chatter of Liz and me getting dinner ready in the Airstream…what golden hours!

            “You know,” Dave mused, turning his glass of Moscata before the candle flame, “I really think that Bingo was a lot like Heaven’s gonna be.”

We all concurred with silent nods then Liz added softly, “I’ve always thought that my happiest times have been little glimpses of Heaven.  It’s like the home of all our joys, the real thing.”     

            “Do you think the Airstream’ll be there?”  A smile lurked in Dave’s earnest gaze.

After a moment’s speculation, we decided that on the hope that the things we loved would foreshadow Heaven we could pretty much expect to see it.  

            “Next stop, Niagara Falls!” Philip cried, lifting his glass.  Pretending that we were moving on was the only way any of us could deal with the sad business of breaking camp in the mornin
g.

We did make our slide show when we got back.  (Though featured prominently, the meals took second place to the girls who prepared them.)  And at our going-away party for Liz and Dave we set up a huge screen and projector in the den to show all our friends what fun we’d had on our summer vacation.  Selections from the Airstream mix accompanied the pictures as they flashed up larger than life in the darkened room.  The effect was magical, hilariously funny as the sappier of our medley predominated.  To Herb Alpert’s Spanish Flea Liz and I marched about Lexington; to You Can Fly Roman candles exploded into a starry night.  But The Green Leaves of Summer gave me a sentimental turn—at the line It was good to be young then… I felt a funny little burning at the back of my throat.  It was good—it was very good.  It was The Good Life.        

 

Finding the Beautiful

Wednesday, January 19th, 2005

It was our last Big Adventure as a family, though we didn’t know it at the time.  Perhaps only Mama had some premonition of the changes that lay in wait for us upon our return from the trip to Boston, Bar Harbor and Prince Edward Island.  Of course, she couldn’t have forseen that I would meet the man who would eventually become my husband only two days after we got home, but the difference that Elizabeth and Zach starting to college in the fall would make was plain enough.  What was not plain was that the age of gold in which the whole world spread itself from our front door was coming to an end.  One by one we would soon step forth over that threshold, figuratively, if not literally—I into love, Elizabeth into art, Zach into engineering—and find that our own worlds awaited us in the Great World beyond.  But that summer we were untroubled by any portent of revolution in our midst.  I have always preferred my lasts to steal up behind me like that—when they have center stage they take some of the reality from the moments that we most want to realize.  Firsts can be flamboyant and fair-haired, but lasts are always at their best when demure and unassuming.

We flew out of Atlanta on a Wednesday morning.  Our friend Frank agreed to drive us to the airport on the condition that we go by way of The Dwarf House in Hapeville for a few unforgettable fried pies and some coffee, but I confess that the charms of this novelty were completely lost on me, transfixed as I was with the cold apprehension of my entire family boarding an airplane.  I had flown four times across continents and oceans, but had not yet abandoned my horror of take-offs and landings. 

Despite my forebodings, however, we were deposited without incident at Logan International, five people and fourteen suitcases, at the mercy of the ‘T’ at rush hour.  Daddy had been to Boston before, and while the rest of our carefully mapped vacation was Mama’s realm, this strange, frantic city where American history and intellectual loftiness lifted their heads as high as any skyscraper was his.  He talked like he had laid out the subway himself as he steered us through the jostling crowd, cheerfully pontificating on the ease with which one might whisk from one corner of this dizzying metropolis to the next.  And such is the case for a man traveling alone with a garment bag and maybe a brief case in tow, but the effortlessness begins to unravel a bit as you add an additional four people each bearing an average of three bags a piece.  The great daily exodus from the city had made a mighty chaos of an orderly system, and Mama called out frenzied instructions to her scattered brood as Daddy leapt without warning from a stopped train or raced down the side of the tracks to board another. 

I comforted myself with the fact that our hotel in Cambridge was ‘only steps’ from the subway as work-weary Bostonians looked down their noses at the goods and chattels assembled at my feet.  But as any seasoned traveler can attest, the use of the word ‘steps’ in the travel industry has a very dubious denotation.  We stumbled out into daylight, blinking like some newly emerged underground creatures, and stared at the sloping hill of pavement that rose before us alongside a coursing thoroughfare.  Heaving bags onto shoulders and pulling rolling suitcases behind, we set forth, trudging along in the August heat, ignoring as best we could the gaping bewilderment of residents stopped in traffic to our left.  A tribe of itinerant nomads we must have seemed, carrying all of our worldly goods on our backs, seeking a place to make camp for the night.  Eventually we all began to disregard Daddy’s optimistic assertions that the hotel was just ahead, only another block or two, and Mama turned to me with a grimace and panted, “This is the kind of thing that people get a divorce over.”

Our first evening in the city was given to Harvard.  Daddy could hardly wait to show us the ancient yard with its cool green solemnity encased in sturdy red brick walls.  So much of it we recognized from his photographs of when he had studied there at a judicial seminar a few summers before, but his enthusiasm in sharing it all with us gave his recollections a boyish slant.  How much more is something ours, even our own memory, when we can impart it to those we love.  I still remember his glowing and lucid descriptions of the famous paintings in the Art Museum depicting Rossetti’s Blessed Damosel and feeling that his viewing had been my own experience; though we were unable to see them for ourselves that week it seemed to me no great loss.  I had already seen them.     

I adored the high-brow feel of the bookshops and the brownstones, the aristocratic archness of the swans in the Public Gardens, the dingy feistiness of the North End.  And we saw it all, au pied.  That illustrious ‘Freedom Trail’ which has led tourists of all tribes and nations scrambling over the hallowed spots of America’s infancy became a thing of notoriety to us as we tramped along in the wake of Daddy’s purposeful stride, and by the end of the first day we had re-christened it ‘The Trail of Tears’.  How bitterly I lamented the decision in favor of fashion over comfort which had bade me turn up my nose at a perfectly respectable pair of tennis shoes in favor of the tiny, ill-suited sandals which were my lot for the entire trip.

We covered in two days what Daddy had perused in two weeks—we saw tea from the Boston tea party and ate clams at Legal’s Seafood; we visited the Old North Church, Copp’s Hill, and the ‘Cheers’ tavern; we shopped at Quincy Market and (some of us) went to a game at Fenway Park.  In the end, I couldn’t have taken another day of it, exciting as it all was.  But Elizabeth was in her element.

            “Someday I’m going to come back and live among the Italians in the North End,” she declared.

            “Not me,” I thought. “Give me a bit of earth and a house o’ dreams.”

           

On Saturday morning we stood outside of Hertz gazing in silent dismay at the Ford Taurus, dwarfed by our mountain of luggage piled beside it, which would take us to Maine and on to Canada.  By some amazing feat of nature we were able to squeeze everyone in, an achievement which required that the three of us in the back each hold a bag with another stuffed at our feet, while Mama ran a crude sort of canteen out of the front seat.  The nightmarish quality of the drive was broken at intervals by a pleasant stop at one or another of Maine’s idyllic coastal towns.  We would extricate ourselves from the painful positions we had assumed—at Ogunquit for lunch at a sandwich shop which hadn’t been altered since the 1950’s, at Camden for a visit with the statue of Edna St. Vincent Milay which was beloved of Liz and me by long association with Victoria magazine, at some hamlet in the middle of nowhere for McLobsters beneath a pair of golden arches.  But the journey must resume, for much as we might wish it otherwise, Bar Harbor was not coming to us.  And lest there be any mistake about it, it is a long, long drive from Boston to the tip of Maine. 

Bar Harbor itself would have bee
n worth twice such a trek, however.  We were little prepared, I believe for the exuberance with which Maine folk welcome their short season of warmth and sun, and were dazzled at every turn by grateful displays of floral profusion.  Borders of snapdragons and marigolds and impatiens and begonias before every house and along every fence; bushy ferns as high as a porch railing and window boxes spilling over with petunias; and where there was no earth planters and baskets overflowing with violas, dusty miller and ageratum.  All of this abundance, with a backdrop of impeccably tidy shingle ‘cottages’, snapping American flags, and the blue of the harbor shimmering in the distance was enough to wring ecstasies of poetic sentiment from the most prosaic of hearts. 

Our hotel was on the water, and every morning we ate our breakfast on a stone terrace watching the busy little harbor awaken for the day.  A walk to the shore was the next order of business, and the three of us would climb down the steep wooden steps to a beach that was unlike any we had ever seen before with smooth grey stones instead of sand and funny little mussels and clams for shells.  Liz and I would settle ourselves on boulders close to the water to sketch and write, respectively, and Zach would make daring forays down the rocky shore to see what lay beyond the bend in this strange new country.  But most often I would just sit in the breezy morning warmth with my head thrown back and let the peace and the quietness and the love of God in all the loveliness I saw restore my soul. 

On evening ventures into the little village we felt our Southern-ness most keenly when some idiosyncrasy of Northern speech or behavior in the natives we met puzzled us.  Shopkeepers and waiters spoke in a foreign tongue, and perfectly respectable, everyday words became snares and confusion when handled in this odd nasal accent.   It was then that one or another of us might remark to the rest in dark tones, reminiscent of Cooper’s Mogwa, ‘These are the ways of the Yang-ees’.  I found myself emphasizing my accent most shamelessly as if in compensation for frequent quandaries over what had just been said to me, and smiling a wicked inward smile when asked to repeat myself.           

The strolling night-life was winsome in its innocent sense of leisure.  Whole families wandered about enjoying ice cream cones, musicians got up concerts in little courtyards, and lovers sat on green painted benches overlooking the velvety water beneath the firs and the stars.  We had our own favorite coffee shop, whence we would wander nightly, and it gave us a sense of belonging, a bit of home.  The proprietor would be playing a haunting album by the yet unheard-of Sarah McLaughlin, and we would smile at each other over steaming mugs and say perhaps we could find it when we went back to Atlanta. 

At home, Zach always seemed to have a penchant for anything that read ‘market price’ on a menu, and it was, I believe, with a sense of relief that Mama and Daddy were able to satisfy this appreciation for the finer things in life by several visits to the waterfront shanties where lobster could be had for a mere pittance a pound.  My first experience was rather alarming, requiring detailed instructions and, much to my chagrin, one of those tacky plastic bibs, and I endeavored with all my might and main to banish the thought of Miss Hewitt’s biology class.  But by the end of the week we were all performing the rite with casual confidence, talking but little and laughing a bit between succulent mouthfuls at the thoroughness with which Zach approached his task. 

The wilds of Acadia were ours during the day.  There among pines and brooding firs and blue waves crashing upon a red-bouldered shore we found the heart of Maine in all its rugged simplicity.  One afternoon, leaving Liz with her sketchbook at a breathtaking vista, and Zach at the foot of a rocky slope that was just asking to be hiked, Mama and I took a carriage ride through the park, savoring the more refined of its rustic charms.  It was a lovely drive, but most of my enjoyment lay in beholding my mother’s pleasure as we ambled through the trees, the horses’ hooves ringing on the gravel drive. We stopped at the Jordan Pond House for tea, served on the lawn in Adirondack chairs since the late eighteen-hundreds.  I won’t admit how many warm popovers with fresh strawberry jam were consumed between us—it remains a closely guarded secret to this day.  I dream of them yet, right down to the butter running indecorously down my chin. 

Every night we watched a ferry enter the wharf just next to our hotel, and every morning we’d watch it chug out again bound for Halifax, Nova Scotia.  The mere fact that Halifax was close enough to Prince Edward Island to attain even the slightest mention in Lucy Maud Montgomery’s books leant enchantment to this hulking, noisy monster of commerce; Liz and I would stand on the balcony as it went and confer upon what we would do first when we finally reached The Island.  Wispy fears fluttered unspoken between us—would it be all that we had dreamt of?

           
To my dying day I will never forget my first sight of Prince Edward’s shore.  In a mad rush of joy Liz and I scrambled over the dunes, halting in silent amazement as the red sand and blue St. Lawrence gulf came into view.  Then we laughed—laughed out loud together for sheer delight.  It was too beautiful to be true.  And there we were in the midst of it, as if we belonged.  Lucy Maud had given us our passage long ago, and so with the uncanny sense of ownership that one assumes so readily in a dream we set forth upon the solitary beach.  We strolled far, speaking little, the waves lapping our feet and the wind, wild and happy, grabbing our skirts and tossing our hair.  I was filled with such unutterable joy—it seemed to me as if some mystic veil had been drawn aside revealing God’s pleasure in our maiden bliss.

We were staying across the road at none other than the White Sands Hotel—Dalvay-by-the-Sea in real life.  Dark and richly-paneled, with wide verandahs, deep armchairs and fires crackling in every grate, it had the feel of an English country house.  There was a wide front hall, which Liz and I made a point of promenading very carefully in our Victorian clothes.  In the afternoons we took tea with scones and Devonshire cream and dainty assortments of sandwiches and cakes.  In the evenings after dinner we would sit in the library or in the hall by the great fireplace, with our journals and books of poetry.  And afterwards perhaps a stroll under a silver moon that seemed to shed its radiance abroad just for us.  In short, the very portals of heaven for two very romantic girls who had not the slightest trouble imagining themselves heroines in a gilded age novel.      

All was not polish and elegance, however, for one must keep in mind that the Adams family as a whole is a rather lively band.  This compounded with the fact that we had spent two weeks sleeping in the same hotel rooms, there will be found some justifiable cause for the hilarity that erupted one night over Zach’s trundle bed which simply would not lay flat.  There he sat with his legs straight out before him and his back like a ramrod, till he threw his weight against the bed, reversing his situation so that his head was in the proper position but his feet pointed up towards the ceiling. &nb
sp;The more we laughed the more he rocked to and fro, falling each time with a resounding thump on the polished wood floor.  At length the matter was sorted out to a satisfactory conclusion, and Daddy had just turned out the light when there was an imperious knock at the door.

            “We must ask you to keep quiet—other guests are trying to sleep,” came the discreet whisper of the desk clerk, and with it some indistinguishable mutterings from a disgruntled neighbor in the hall.  Pillows were employed to stifle giggles as Daddy apologized through the door and the mutterings stiffly replied.  The next morning at breakfast we were keenly conscious of the glares pointed in our direction from the table to our left.

            “Why, I thought you were in room two!” their server exclaimed genially as she took the check. 

            “We were, until late last night,” the gentleman replied.  “We were compelled to move to another part of the hotel.”  This he said with his eyes fixed on us so piercingly that only a sheer force of will held another explosion at bay until he and his wife had left the room.         

Green Gables was nice, and owing to a slight drizzle most amiably deserted.  But it was at Park Corner, the home of Lucy Maud’s beloved Aunt Sallie and her rollicking cousins, that we really found the essence of her world.  This house, with a whispering spruce wood behind and a golden sweep of meadow before, was Silver Bush in every particular.  I half-expected Judy Plum to amble down those steep attic stairs into the kitchen and offer us a ‘leedle bite’ at any moment.  Lucy Maud spent some of the happiest days of her life in that house, and her love of it is evident, not only in her portrayal of it specifically, but in the tender handling in her writings of what any true home should be.      

One of the very best moments came, oddly enough, just as we were leaving the Island.  Liz and I had our hearts set on seeing ‘Gus’ lighthouse’, endeared to our souls by familiar association with the Avonlea series.  Far from the traditional tourist route, a sketchy little paragraph in the back of a brochure one of us had chanced to pick up was all that we could offer by way of directions, but Daddy was confident. 

            “Leave it to me—we’ll find it!” he cheerfully asserted.

Mama groaned and scrutinized the map spread across her knees.  She had known Daddy’s navigational skills of old. 

The road wound past fields and through birches and poplars and became a ribbon of red between the rows of rich green.  A misting rain began to fall and each twist and turn deepened our growing conviction that this lane knew how to hold its own counsel.  But just as we began to lose hope a red turret broke above the spruces and suddenly we were at its foot.  Liz and I tumbled out of the car before Daddy even had it stopped and ran about with little shrieks of glee.  Fortunately there was none but ourselves to see the spectacle the two of us made: umbrellas blowing inside-out in our wild circuit, clapping and squealing, dropping to our knees on the step and gazing up adoringly with clasped hands.  Daddy remarked that the keeper on that lone point must have stroked his grizzled beard and wondered to himself at these strange American lighthouse-worshippers!     

It was situated on the edge of those dear red cliffs, fringed beyond with weathered spruces and, farther on, a secret field of waving golden grass.  Liz and I stood there in the wind and misty sunshine, rapt with happiness, our arms about each other.  To this day I am deeply moved by this token of the Lord’s tenderness towards the dreams that we carry.  This little spot, the tossing sea below, the very caress of the wind represented more to me than I could articulate—a host of lovely girlhood fancies; a glittering ideal of the future; an indelible impression that God meant life to be beautiful…

           
I carried many tokens and treasures home with me: a book of Handel’s arias from a music shop in Boston, a tiny sterling lobster for my charm bracelet, pressed wildflowers from the sea cliffs beyond the lighthouse.  But the very best, I believe, of all that I brought back was one cherished thought—simple, yet startlingly vital.  It was the realization that I lived in my very favorite place on all the earth.  I belonged there, and it belonged to me.  Lucy Maud Montgomery’s capable pen captured Prince Edward Island in all its pastoral beauty and immortalized its varied moods and seasons; but it was her deep love for it that shed glory on the everyday and endeared it to her readers.  I looked about at my oaks and pines with new eyes; I felt the warm sweet Southern breeze on my cheek and saw the molten gold of sunset sparkling through the verdant arms of trees in summer dress and thought, Out of the whole world God has given me this place to love.  Its particular beauty was mine to value, to commend to others if I might.  It was my own charge, this sweet search for splendor in the commonplace.  Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it within us, or we find it not, wrote Emerson.  But perhaps it is the greatest fortune of all to find it where we have been all along.