I often feel so completely unequal to the dreams and visions that God stirs in my heart. That is, until I remember that my best bet is to continually pray that I would be ‘small enough and weak enough’ that He could actually use me, rather than bumbling around in His way in my own ‘capable-ness’. The biggest blessings in my life have come from my weakest moments; the richest seasons have been when the Lord Himself was my only light and I could but creep forward slowly, often painfully, by His grace. I actually find myself thinking rather wistfully at times upon those dark days because of the treasures that came out of them. But why am I so quick to forget? So eager to try to run out and make perfect the world around me rather than, as T.S. Eliot says, ‘make perfect [my] will’?
Elrond, the Elven King had some very stirring things to say about being ‘up to’ our unique calling:
“The road must be trod, but it will be very hard. And neither strength nor wisdom will carry us very far upon it. This quest may be attempted by the weak with as much hope as the strong. Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.”
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
God gives us the vision, then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way…The vision is not a castle in the air, but a vision of what God wants you to be. Let Him put you on His wheel and whirl you as He likes, and as sure as God is God and you are you, you will turn out exactly in accordance with the vision. Don’t lose heart in the process. If you have ever had the vision of God, you may try as you like to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never let you.
Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not be weary,
They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40: 30, 31